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21 June 2006 @ 04:34 pm
Quotes  


Unconquered Sun to a new exalt:
Oh child, I had turned by back on the world, but now go fuck some shit up!

Sun comes down, spreads the clouds, sniffs, and closes it up again.

What are you doing in there? You’d better be masturbating.

I cast nut-swell on you!

Mutiny is a dirty, dirty thing.

Lorn:
I stared into the thighs of doom.

For 20 essence, that spell had better clean him out like a bran muffin.

Good tea, cures what ails you… except for the Great Contagion.

Lorn:
The whore of the mud people won’t even touch you!

I’ve got 9 successes; you can shove that difficulty right up your ass!

If we have to find the fountain of venereal disease, I’m gonna quit.

Drakoran:
Lucas’s character just had sex with a horse?

There’s a big scary list of things that have touched the baby…
Lorn!

Not only did you give up your familiar, but you gave up your sex life as well!

(About a Wood Immaculate)
Oh, he keeps his powerbow on his back?
That is so three essence.

Ori:
As our first servant, we’re going to geld you
Lucas:
You’ll lose four willpower for that.

(Regarding a brothel)
We could have found a midwife here.
As well as a pre and a post wife.

Lorn:
Quit leaking all over my pony.

Jonathan:
I have to be there when she gives birth, otherwise she may eat it all herself.

Lorn:
Like I’d Edifice Smashing Strike my own temple.
Someone else:
It wouldn’t be the first time.

Ori:
I strike him down!
Someone Else:
Well, shit, there goes the evidence.

Jonathan:
I want you to consummate our marriage… did I say consummate? I meant consecrate!

Baby sacrifice is like cheap red wine.

Jonathan:
What’s our baby’s name again?

Ori:
Keep your blood-taking fingers away from my baby!

If we kill her, won’t that anger the head-shoulders-knees-and-toes demon above her?

Heron:
Something is about to go more wrong.
Vas:
Should I take the baby out of the box?

Ori:
Prancing through the trees like Metheric, only better!

Michael:
Hey Katrya, can you wear this monkey suit?

Michael:
This is a game based on anime, you should always be scared of tentacles
Jonathan:
Why do you think I have them?

Lorn:
It was like three years of Spanish class, all in one horrible enema.

Lorn:
Phenomenal cosmic power, minor anal leakage.

Lorn:
Yay my cult! Yay those fucking suckers back in Merukan!

Jonathan: (to an approaching deathnight)
I feel as a zombie, I should serve everyone a drink.

Lorn:
What, this isn’t the Boston wine party!

Matt:
It’s a big, ghostie circle jerk.

Lorn:
Let’s have our Carebear moment and then you can jump across to the other ship and slaughter everyone.

Jonathan:
You read comics? Well, you picked the wrong faggot!

Ori:
Please, please, please don’t touch my soul!

Lorn:
She’s so wet… sopping… like squeezing a peach.

Ori:
Don’t worry, this will only hurt if you’ve screwed my daughter.

Lucas:
We’re not getting out tonight…
Lorn:
We’re Solars, we might!

Lucas:
He told me he wouldn’t use a condom because it was against his religion.
Lorn:
Wait a minute, we ARE his religion!

Lucas:
No tentacles near this princess!

Lorn: (to Heron)
If she wasn’t ready for it, it wouldn’t have happened, right Mr. Fatey-Pants?

Lucas:
Well… based on the number of girls that I’ve slept with that were skanks…

Lorn: (pretending to be Islay)
God damnit, those Solars built a meth lab in my sanctum!

Ori:
No, I don’t want to die today, I’ve already died once.

Lorn:
Imagine a big, bald Sean Connery…
Lucas:
Wait a minute, I was thinking we were still talking about Lorn’s penis.

Yuri: (poking at openings in fate)
I am the Opener of Ways.
Ori:
Do you know the Closer of Ways?

Lorn: (pretending to be Yuri)
I walk off into the sunset and fuck babies!

Dragonblood:
Are you here for business or pleasure?
Lorn:
Pleasure. Do you have any horses here?

Michael: (about the Dragon King hymns)
Some things don’t translate well, like, “The Hairless Monkey runs away, sacrifice him on the altar.”

Drakoran:
The leeches drank the demon blood and became terrible horrible demon leeches, and crave the blood of humans.

Lorn: (about Drakoran’s party)
I want whores for my whores!

Ori:
If you’re broke on the island, there would be nothing to do.
Lucas:
Except your daughter.

Felix:
You’d have to win the fight with a Sidereal backing you.
Lorn:
That’s boinking, not backing.

Ori: (about Darktide’s reaver)
Baby doesn’t need to be conquering the realm with a dirty, dirty diclave.

Lorn:
It’s not evil if it poops.

Ori:
No good can come from slithering rustles.

Lucas: (pretending to be Lorn)
Ok, you can give be a blowjob, but I’m gonna pray the whole time.

Ori:
But you’ll have sex with anyone.
Lucas:
But they’re extras, they’re not even people!

Lucas:
We should hold those back – he won’t be expecting Wyld-Tainted mutants to attack.

Drakoran:
After having Michael for an ST for 6 weeks, you’ll be depressed, too.

Drakoran: (about Lorn’s castration)
Snip! Ok, lose two points of valor!

Lucas: (when an eye opens up in the middle of his forehead due to Essence mutation)
Man, that’s where my Caste mark goes!

Lorn:
Isn’t that what the Twilights are called, the Golden Showers of the Unconquered Sun?

Ori: (to Heron)
Honey, I think we just broke Denandsor.

Felix: (pretending to be Ori)
Say something dirty to me.
Heron:
Necromancy.

Felix: (about the Lookshy Consul’s crush on Lucas)
There was a whole lot of looking and not a lot of shy.

Drakoran:
I’ve got protection against possession by ghosts… Bigger ghosts!

Lucas:
It should be Lorn with the Deathlord in his head because he wouldn’t be able to hear it over the Polyphonic Spree.

Ori:
Losing would have involved much pain and capture.

Ori:
I never thought there would be a day when you would pass up an opportunity to rid the world of ghosts.
Lorn:
We have bigger ghosts to deal with – Dinosaur ghosts!

Lorn:
Mistress of Hearts is so wet for me.
Ori:
Yeah, she’d have your babies – and then she’d kill them.

Ori: (about a demon)
Is she a smiter?

Lorn:
I’m clearly the hero, I’m the one on the glowing pony.

Lorn: (about a demon robe)
Answer the question, you fucking coat!

Lorn:
It’s like there’s an evil fucking cockroach, but I don’t know if Lorn would be worried when he’s got to worry about an evil fucking Mastodon!

Lucas:
I do have a stamina + resistance of 9.
Ori:
Do you have a specialty in taking it up the ass?

Ori:
Now I have some fancy jewelry that doesn’t involve semen.

Lorn:
Well, the Cynis messenger probably has a handful of babies up his ass.

Ori: (to Lorn if he wants his nuts reattached after sacrificing them)
This is the last time!

Lucas:
We have Hitler for demons!

Michael: (to Drakoran)
You’re not radiating Malfean essence.
Ori:
Yet.

Lorn: (to Heron)
If you’re going to marry into my oathcircle, you’re going to have to follow my rules.

Lucas:
I survived a 60-story fall.
Felix:
Cool! – I can fly!

Lorn: (to bless a boat)
I imagine I don’t have to kill 500 people to pray…

Lorn: (pretending to be Drakoran)
I’m gonna erase the universe to get rid of a problem with an aardvark.

Drakoran:
Lorn needs that connection to the sun, not ancient and bloody… he’s got that down pat.

Lorn:
Clean this place up, I don’t wanna see any blood!

Lorn:
Jalyn had to blow off a little steam.
Lucas:
So why is your anima full blown?
Lorn:
I had to handle the steam.

Drakoran: (pretending to be Lorn)
Sex, it’s so gross I’m gonna cut something.

Lucas: (To Jalyn)
Your new title is Sun’s Rebirth.
Jalyn:
Oh yeah, the Malfeans will love that one.
Ori:
Yeah, you might as well call him Sunshine Sparkle Rainbow Pants.

Michael: (about Metheryk’s body)
The first ones that touched him, died.
Lucas:
The second ones wore gloves.
Lorn:
The third came back in Hazmat suits.

Felix:
Ok, I’ll just manifest Thieving Talons of the Red Cross to get some of his blood.

Lorn:
Then I use my bonfire to born the corpses of the cattle --
Felix:
To make sure that they don’t rise up as Hungry Cows.

Lorn:
I don’t think you want cancer in your hidey place.

Drakoran: (about a giant pimp feather cape)
He may have that outfit, but he doesn’t wear it to gunfights!

Drakoran:
On the Solar Rag?
Lorn:
Riding the Golden Wave?

Lorn:
Where are the sunlight chihuahua’s to protect your manse?

Lucas:
If there is one thing that will fight disease, it’s nutrition –
Drakoran:
And firewands.

Lucas: (about freeing a third circle demon)
The idea is so stupid it got Lorn and Lucas to agree.

Michael:
Another Dex + Ride roll, and, uh… make this one.

Drakoran:
Since Ori is a dragon, can she be my mount for Yellow Path?
Ori:
Just this once, I’ll be his pony.

Felix:
And just so you know, Felix has about two dots of Compassion for those dead lions.

Ori: (pretending to be Lorn sacrificing a Neomah to Shining Flower)
Look babe, I love you so much I’m going to kill this whore.

Felix:
Because soul-raping hurts Lucas, but ass-raping hurts the player.

Ori:
But marrow makes blood and that comes from bones.
Lucas:
I didn’t know that blood came from marrow.
Lorn:
Well, you learn something new every day.
Lucas:
You know, Ori may not rub our shoulders, but she rubs our mind!

Lucas:
Once the sunlight fills your pants with shit, you can consider yourself unnaturally influenced.

Lucas:
It’s not like selling Ori’s brother into slavery, it’s like selling Paris Hilton.

Lorn: (passing on the alcohol at Drakoran’s party)
Sorry, I’m the DD, Designated Demigod.

Drakoran:
What are you going to do, tow my cloud, bitches?!

Felix:
The Third Hand, that’s my special, handpicked followers.
Lorn:
Hey, that’s better than the Third Leg.
Ori:
Oh, just call them the Penis Posse and get it over with.

Drakoran: (about a stomach bottle bug)
It puts the demon in its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Ori: (about the bottom and oldest level of Rathess)
Not going to the bottom level is SO Essence 5.

Lorn:
Hey Lucas, you remember that dot of Essence you got? You should shut the hell up!

Drakoran:
Maybe it will be a Beast of Resplendent Liquids and it will be all mine…
Lucas:
Yeah, and maybe it will shit me a warstrider, too.

Ori: (to Drakoran)
Ori kicks you in the nuts so the Perenelle oozes all over your genitals.

Michael:
Salasuk flies 75 feet through the air—
Lorn:
Does he hit a warbird?

Drakoran:
I’m going to politely request that you do not break my society.

Ori: (about The Cape)
They are awesome, and they fly!

Ori: (about a stomach bottle bug)
It’s doing a mating song in my stomach?!

Lucas: (pretending to be Ori)
I’d rather smell like power than flowers.

Lorn:
I’m the Battle Pope!

Lorn:
What lesson did Wolverine teach us? It hurts Every Time.

Lucas:
Ok, Lorn, we need a big social change.
Lorn:
*cough*

Lucas:
I take the yellow pill to make me forget that there were Matrix sequels.

Lucas:
When was the last time you smote evil, Lorn?

Lorn:
Love is willpower sharing.
Drakoran:
Willpower 10 is not needing sharing.

Lorn:
I took a pretty impossible crap this morning, but you know, I did it anyways.

Lorn:
How do we know she’s not Bridget reborn?
Ori:
Because… it doesn’t matter!

Drakoran: (about the plan to have sex and get high with Burning Feather before screwing up the plans of both Sidereal Factions)
You know, if you’d come to me with one of these plans when I first Exalted, I’d be in one of those camps right now.

Lorn: (pretending to be Ori)
I’m to busy saving the world to rule it.

Lorn: (about Desus)
Sure he’s not gonna become a Deathlord, because he already knows that sucks.

Ori:
Are you going to climb into the Maw’s gooey chambers of goo?

Lorn:
Yes, the kittiness is cute, please return to the giant mushroom monster.

Lucas:
Alright, would you cut my nipple off?

Lorn:
This is why I haven’t used my penis yet, I just didn’t have the right one!

Drakoran:
The Goblin King is crazy, the Bull is too martial, but Lorn is a fucking cock-block! I’m not following him.

Drakoran:
Why does this shit always happen to me?
Lorn:
Because you keep Blue Booking!

Lucas:
46 successes is enough to make Mr-T-I-Pity-the-Fool god start crying!

Ori:
Oh... oopsie. (hurriedly) Lorn broke the Godspear.

Lorn:
She likes Autothon, dragonkings, and long walks in the park.

Lucas:
I promise to feed it, and takeit for walks, and kill behemoths!
(re: Triumphant Strategem Warstrider)

Felix:
I stole from a vault that doesn't exist in nowhere, stealing from the future is child's play.
(re: Elyse's armor)

Lorn:
Hey, isn't your compassion totally making your overies hurt?
(re: sick people in Autothon)

Tok:
You are divine!
Lucas:
No, we can just read you ignorant fuck!
(re: Lorn explaining letters to Tok)

Ori:
How much unhappiness is involved in the leaving behind the giant water orgy thing?

Lucas:
I am going to unlearn those charms because I already had to carry the mushroom beheamoth under my left nipple.
(re: Immunity to everything charms)

Michael:
Failure to meet the required number of successes will not result in injuries, but in dead babies.

Drakoran:
The Solar Deliberative regrets to inform you that your baby died because Essence 2 sucks.

Lorn: My balls drop, my butt unclenches, I'm relaxed.
(4 successes on a temperance roll)

Lorn:
You unleashed a Formarian?
Lucas:
No I didn't and that village was deserted when I got there!

Drakoran:
Well, we know that there are two things that Lorn does better than anyone.
Authothon:
There are three, but one is only in potential.
Lucas:
That's right, he would be a lion in the sack.

Lucas:
And then you murdered him?
Felix:
No! I murdered him first!
(re: after describing a long, involved plan to discredit a Sidereal)

Lorn:
Cut their faces off and sew them onto other people! They hate that!

Lorn:
I'm a pupa!
(re: pretending to be Elysande)

Lorn:
Does a vagina count as a natural environment?
Lucas:
Not for you!

Lucas:
I don't have to make plans, I have circlemates!

Lucas:
Felix is so good, he stole it off Lucas's character sheet.

Lorn:
I'm ok with that, he's my god, I like him.
(re: giving the US the concentrated power of Adorjan in a godspear)

Ori:
Lucas, how do I get in touch with you?
Lucas:
I don't know, pee on a hooker?